Something awkward happens to you, and suddenly you find your cheeks turning bright red. How much you wish you could vanish from the spot! You feel everybody’s eyes on you. It hurts as if they were burning tiny holes in your skin just by looking at you. If only people could stop looking! If only nothing has happened! If only nobody had noticed! The French have a saying that says, roughly translated, that with enough “ifs” you could put Paris in a bottle. In other words, it’s time to break away from the damaging and self-hurting cycle of “ifs.” You can’t undo what’s already done or said, but you can undoubtedly manage how you respond to it. And as the French put it, there’s no point getting hung up on the ifs of a situation. Take concrete actions to stop it from affecting you – besides there is no if on earth that can cure embarrassment!
You are your worst enemy
You’re familiar with the little voice at the back of your mind that criticizes you when you least expect it. From saying you feel fat to worrying that a piece of clothing was not made for your body type, you’re letting the little voice inside body-shame you. Unfortunately, everybody has an inner critic – and more often than not, it’s a harsh and heartless critic too! As a result, you might also accidentally say something hurtful to others too, if you apply the same expectations of perfection to them than you do to yourself. But, more importantly, you are bringing yourself down repeatedly, questioning your appearance – weight is a major source of worry for most people, which is why it also becomes the most common cause of embarrassment. But if you want to break free from the embarrassment cycle, you need to stop the voice inside your head from criticizing yourself.
You slipped and fell in public
Everything was fine until you slipped on a wet patch in the shopping mall and fell in front of everyone. You tried to ignore the physical pain you’ve sustained to get up and hide. You felt like everyone was laughing at you. In reality, most people would have probably been caught by surprise and wanted to check that you were okay. More importantly, you shouldn’t blame yourself for the incident. A slippery surface is the responsibility of the management team, and personal injury lawyers can help with the situation. You should never feel too ashamed to ask for help, especially when there was nothing you could have done to prevent the incident. Don’t feel embarrassed; it wasn’t your fault!
Understand what is driving other people’s criticism
Sometimes, people say hurtful things that make you feel ashamed of who you are. But don’t let their words affect your mood without understanding their underlying message. You’ll be surprised to know that some people can be harsh without even realizing it. Indeed, emotional intelligence and soft communication are not skills that everybody has mastered! Maybe they were trying to help you and didn’t express themselves adequately! Another typical situation is when someone feels threatened by you. They try to hurt you intentionally. Accepting the shame means you let them win!
You’re not perfect. Nobody is
Guess what? You are flawed. If you’ve been worried about your body, your skills or even your personality, you need to face the truth: Some parts of you are not as perfect as you wish they were. But nobody is perfect. We all have quirks we would rather erase forever. However, it’s a good thing because your imperfections make you precisely who you are. You can work and improve some elements – such as boosting your skills or even trying to keep your cool in stressful situations. But for most parts, you are stuck with who you are. And there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Perfection would be dull!
What’s behind your embarrassment?
Embarrassment is a powerful sensation that can only be explained by a split of personality. Indeed, there is the part of you who has a vision about who you should be, and then there is your true self. When the vision doesn’t align with reality, you experience embarrassment. At its core, it’s a useful feeling as it can stop you from doing something that goes against your values. But most of the time, it’s a painful reminder that you can’t and shouldn’t be both the actor and the judge in the scenes of your life.
Oh no, what have I just done? Everybody knows the feeling, accompanied by a facepalm gesture. But, in truth, embarrassment is the result of a flawed behavior, either because you have impossibly high expectations on yourself or because you feel guilty for the things that were done or said to you. Breaking free from this handicapping emotion is about understanding where it comes from and how to react.
