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Social anxiety is something that a lot of people struggle with. It has been around for as long as humans have existed, but only recently have we seen the light shone on it. People ignored this for years, but it’s a genuine problem that impacts a lot of lives.
Two burning questions present themselves:
- How do you identify social anxiety in yourself?
- How do you deal with it?
The first half of this post will deal with the first question, displaying the biggest cues and signs that you have social anxiety. Then, we can move on to looking at solutions to help you deal with it so it doesn’t have a negative impact on your life.
How to identify social anxiety
People suffer from this problem to different extents in that it can affect one person really badly, then another not so much. So, a range of symptoms and signs can be used to identify social anxiety:
Fear of being judged
Do you constantly worry about how others will perceive you? Even something simple like walking to the shops can fill you with fear as you’re always wondering what the people on the street or in the shop think about you. You hate the idea of being embarrassed, which often means you avoid a lot of social situations and interactions.
One highly common and frequent example of this is asking someone for help. You are so worried about asking a shop worker where an item is, that you will avoid doing it and leave the shop if you can’t find it yourself. There’s just a constant worry inside you that other people might think certain things about you.
Fear of social interactions
Similarly, you are very worried and scared about interacting with others. You hate making small talk and will avoid speaking to people that you don’t know. If you’re at an event, you stay with the people you are comfortable talking to and almost latch onto them as a safety net.
People with social anxiety will really struggle to interact and talk to people they don’t know or haven’t met. The previous example is relevant here again, but there are also instances where you might go to a family party and be terrified of anyone talking to you as you don’t know what to say or how to react.
Intense flushing and increased sweating
This is more of a physical sign that you could have social anxiety, and it occurs whenever you’re in social situations. Or, it happens when you are getting ready to interact with someone – like ordering your coffee at Starbucks. Your face starts going red, you start sweating more, and your pulse quickens.
Realistically, these physical changes stem from your fear of the situation. Still, if you notice this keeps happening to you whenever you go out and talk to people, it’s a big sign you have social anxiety.
Constantly avoiding social situations
Lastly, you may feel the need to avoid social situations wherever possible. People might ask you out, but you’re too anxious and worried to join them. Instead, you make excuses and stay inside on your own. The mere thought of going out with people can terrify you, or you convince yourself that it will be a bad experience.
Similarly, you may also be more inclined to make online friends when you have social anxiety. You do this as you are constantly avoiding social situations, but still want to have friends. So, you turn to online communities to find people who are similar to you, meaning most of your interactions are virtual.
The key thing is that your fears and worries revolve around social interactions and being around other people. This is what differentiates social anxiety from general anxiety. People with general anxiety feel worried and panicked all the time, even when they’re at home.
How can you deal with social anxiety?
If dealing with social anxiety were easy, people wouldn’t be suffering from it. Before you read through the tips, keep in mind that there are no overnight fixes. It’s a gradual process where small steps add up and can help you get over your fears. Here’s what you should try:
Find the cause of your anxiety
Try to figure out what might be the cause or trigger for your social anxiety. This can be different in different people, so it’s all about looking internally and considering why you feel the way that you do.
Why are you self-conscious about the way people think about you? In many instances, it can be down to something like hearing loss. There are many studies on the social impact of hearing loss, and you can feel conscious as you’re always asking people to repeat themselves. Or, you worry that you can’t hear anyone, so avoid the situation altogether. In this instance, you’ve identified the cause of your anxiety, so you can fix the cause and hopefully see improvements.
Set yourself daily targets
Another great idea is to set yourself little daily goals or targets to achieve. They don’t have to be outrageous – try simple things like going to the shop. Getting yourself out in public is a big step for people with anxiety. Gradually, you increase the targets to make them more challenging and to encourage yourself out of your comfort zone.
For example, you can make it a goal to say hello to someone on the street or just smile and say good morning to someone. Or, you can ask the barista in Starbucks how their day has been. Add simple social interactions into your life to get yourself more used to them.
Ultimately, dealing with social anxiety starts with identifying it, then finding the cause. Try to tackle what might trigger your anxiety, then gradually implement your targets to ease yourself into social situations. The more you do something, the less of a big deal it feels. On that first day, going to the shop alone seems like a huge deal. By the end of the month, you do it without thinking twice. Slowly but surely, you can feel less anxious and live a more fulfilling life.
