Bringing up a child is hard. You knew that before you’d even had a baby because it’s the only thing any parent ever says. Of course, you can only truly understand what they mean once you have a child of your own (funnily enough, that’s the other thing parents are always saying).
It can feel quite daunting when you consider your many responsibilities as a new mother. You love your baby, but you’re constantly worried as to whether you’re doing the best possible thing for him or her. Here’s some helpful advice for any new mothers out there.
Learn how to do the basics.
Mother’s intuition will help you raise your baby to a certain extent, but there are certain things that every new mother has to learn. Many moms pretend that they always knew what they were doing, but there are plenty of things that you have to learn how to master. For starters, you might need to come to grips with changing a diaper (unless you practiced on baby dolls first). Do some research if you’re curious as to the best way to change a diaper.
It might seem like you’re diffusing a bomb at first, but it becomes easier after the first few times. In fact, it becomes second nature. You’ll be changing diapers in your sleep after a week. And, as most moms can attest, you have the do a lot of your motherly chores whilst half-asleep, so it’s good to make sure that these things become a habit.
Get help.
Whether you have the support of a partner or you’re taking care of your baby as a single mother, you’re never truly alone. You can always turn to friends or family to support you through this journey. And, even if you can’t, there are other support networks other for new mothers who are struggling. Do some research in your local area because you’ll probably find several groups for mothers who are in the exact same situation as you.
Every new mother is excited and terrified in equal measure. It’s an overwhelming journey, so you need people who can provide you with the support you need to get through it. Whether you have friends and family to help you or not, it’s always good to join a group of fellow “new mothers” because they’re best equipped to understand what you’re experiencing. You might even make some new friends throughout the process.
Sometimes the advice new mothers need can be found in useful resources like the works of notable child-rearing experts including Sam Haskell. Resources to aid your journey into motherhood by way of your bookshelf or digital reader of choice.
Listen to your baby and your gut.
As mentioned in the introduction, mother’s intuition is a thing. You need to trust your feelings when it comes to your baby. You might be tempted to listen to friends or family members who tell you how you should be raising your child, but if you disagree with the advice they give because it doesn’t feel right for your baby then you need to trust your gut. Every child is unique in terms of their needs.
You need to listen to your baby so that you can give them what they need. You shouldn’t be too rigorous with a schedule during the early weeks or months of their life. If they’re hungry then feed them; if they’re tired then let them rest. You need to get in tune with your child to figure out what works best for them.
Sleep.
This piece of advice is one of the most important: sleep. You need to make sure you and your baby try to get as much rest as possible throughout this journey. Obviously, your baby will be very restless throughout the night for the first few months of their life, but you have to keep working on creating a bedtime routine for the pair of you. The best way to be productive throughout the day and look after your child well is to sleep properly.
Most of us need about 8 hours of sleep in order to function efficiently. You just need to get into a pattern of going to bed early and getting up early. The earlier you wake, the more you can get done before your baby wakes (if possible) or whilst you’re taking care of your little one.
You also need to make sure you’re getting a good quality of rest. Avoid electronics before you go to bed because bright lights stimulate the mind and make it harder to fall asleep. Make sure your environment is as dark as possible. Get blinds or curtains that block out all light.
When you’re dealing with a baby who’s restless, you need to get every minute of sleep you possibly can. If your baby sleeps in the afternoon then join them for a nap; get all the sleep you can manage. Even as they get older and start sleeping better, your life as a mom will continue to be demanding. Sleeping properly is essential to ensuring that you can function properly as a mother (and stay healthy).
Don’t burden yourself.
This final point is crucial. Your mental health is so important when it comes to the wellbeing of your baby. If you’re happy and healthy then your baby will be happy and healthy. You need to be the best possible mother to your child, and that starts by taking care of yourself.
Avoid burdening yourself with unnecessary chores and tasks that don’t benefit your baby’s life (or your life). So many mothers worry unnecessarily about things they read in books or on the internet. As we’ve discussed throughout this article, you need to trust your own gut. If something’s non-essential then cut it out of your daily routine. And if a fellow mother offers you something that they never used for their own baby then say ‘no’ because you won’t need to use it either.
Bringing up a baby is a journey. You’ll learn new things along the way, just as they will, but there’s no reason to be hard on yourself. Accept help from people so that you can take breaks from time to time. Take a long bath to reward yourself after a long day. You’ve earned it.
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